My Dress Doesn’t Mean a “Yes”

Ladies, we have received many pieces of advice from our society. Here is the collection of some epic examples – wearing red lipstick means that you are trying to attract a mate, winking an eye is an intention to invite a man, and wearing short dresses labels that you are okay to reveal your skin. A huge wall of myths is built up in the brain of males, and it must be broken now. There are many names in our country who have declared that ‘Provocative Clothing’ is the main reason behind increasing rate of rape, sexual assault, and molestation.

I have a question to these people: “Is there a clear definition of ‘Provocative Clothing’ available in the dictionaries? If yes, every woman around every corner of the world is waiting to know and learn that. Girls have been hooted and hollered not only while wearing mini skirts or shorts but also while wearing proper Salwaar-Kameez or traditional clothes. Even if we consider this dress factor as a valid reason, there is no one in this entire world who would find a five-year-old’s cute frock seductive. Because they also face molestation and sexual assault. There are girls who don’t wear sexy clothes, don’t wear make-up and don’t fit into the standards of society’s labelled beauty tag.  Still, they are harassed and stalked. One’s attire does not justify one’s character. The provocation lies in the eyes of the beholder.

Varnika Kundu, a Chandigarh based DJ, is a great example. She has shown the mirror to those petulant boys, who think that their father’s name and fame can get them everything they want. We respect Varnika for her audacious decision. When she filed a complaint against two boys, who were stalking her in the mid-night, Varnika was asked by our so-called ‘cultured’ society – “what she was doing in the midnight outside her house?” If an independent girl like Varnika, who is a daughter of an IAS officer can be stalked, you can analyze the situation of a common girl, who works in the night-shifts at MNCs and BPOs and earns the livelihood for her family.

Jessica Lal, Shivani Bhatnagar, Priyadarshini Mattoo, Ruchika Girhotra, and Jyoti Singh aka Nirbhaya are few names who have lost their lives and raised a question in our patriarchal society: If a woman does not have as much physical power as a man, can a man do anything out of his wishes? The above are few highlighted names who came to light because these were hugely discussed in the media. The government certainly will not have the data of those countless vulnerable women who sacrifice their wishes, hopes and feeling each passing day.Only Indian mindset is not the only one enrooted with such horrendous perception. A few years back, a Toronto police officer gave a solution to all the worries pertaining to crime against women there: “If you want to avoid rape, don’t dress like a slut.”  The society does not understand that there is no dress code for a slut. Wearing a mini dress or covering your entire body does not make you desirable or austere.

At the end, I would like to suggest to the parents that instead of teaching your girl to not to cross those dark alleys, you should teach your girl that how to be bold and give a perfect reply. Instead of teaching your daughter to not to wear short dresses, you should teach her that observe your wishes and understand yourself better.

“Your feelings are meant not to be suppressed but to be conquered.”

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